New Year's Day 01/01/07

It's not a Happy New Year for any of us as 7 of us, yes 7 are crammed into the car with all out luggage. Catherine and Zac couldn;t get alternative flights so we're all heading home together.

Finally turn suicidal as we board the boat at 4pm and Mark text's to say "it is snowing in Les Gets". I can gloss it over or make no mention of it but I declare to everyone "I wish I was dead".

Xmas Skiing Holiday 2006, so eagerly anticipated, was well and truly over.

New Year's Eve 31/12/06

No one's skiing. All books read. Everyone's sick of walks, video games and books.

Time to call a family meeting; 100% agreement we're off in the morning 6 days early.

Sat 30/12/06

This is crap.........................no-one's skiing. There is nothing to ski on and it appears most of Europe is suffering.

Fri 29/12/06

Snow is absolutley SHOCKING and conditions continue to worsen.

Take Chesc and Francis for a local ski and we come down a closed route. Begin to understand why it's closed for use halfway down as we have to resort to hopping and jumping to make our way down until we come to an unpassable 6ft, and 6ft wide gully/mud hole. Am trying to suss out how to cross it and WHOOOSH, Francis hurtles by singing "I'm a living legend" as he just gets enough of the lip to launch up upwards and over.

I'm going home - this is soul-destroying (and base-destroying. Bartletts are gonna be busy when we get home)

Thur 28/12/06

"Jay; this is the last day cos conditions are so bad and we're down to just one - don't let anything go wrong". Give Jay his due as I thought he'd just call it and refuse to do anymore skiing with any of my kids. To play safe I stay at the park. But Francis doesn't really enjoy it without his bro or sis and I also think he's pretty nervous......................

So a quiet morning and injury free.

Wed 27/12/06

Meet Jay for another morning session but now down to two; Ell and Francis. Myself, Jo, Chesc, Zac and Catherine drive all the way up there this time and unload them straight to the park and Jay and Jo stays to watch while the rest of us go for a coffee and a walk. Conditions so shite its not even worth trying to ski.

Ellie and Francis enjoy the rail session and as we pick them up Jo and Jay mention Ellie "had a slight fall onto her hand". Oh bloody no! She can't make up her mind if its broken or not and for once I can't "parent-diagnose" as all previous five times I've correctly called her broken arms.

Back to Les Gets and its obviously bothering her so Les Gets medical centre..................."I can't tell if it's broken or not, even with an x-ray". After bigging them up for so long the medical centre's let me down!! Thinks at best she's bruised the cartilage so another day, another one down.

Catherine is not smiling on our return.

Can't resist the opportunity to text Jay to tell him he's a jinx - he's drowning a pint asking himself "why. why. oh why me?"

Boxing Day 26/12/06

Off we go to Avoriaz to meet Jay of Amplid who's doing a season in Morzine. He's gonna do a three hour session with the kids in the park - Josh, Ellie and Francis. Oh hell, didn't buy lift pass in Les Gets or Morzine; figured we'd get it there so drove halfway there to join the lifts up to Avoriaz from Morzine thru Super Morzine................except there's no bloody pass office there. Park up anyway and blag our way onto the down gondola back to Morzine to lift pass office texting Jay on-route. He's chilled as he's late anyway!

Finally get there an hour late and meet up with Jay and between them all they decide to session the rails for a couple of hours after starting on a small kicker. The park is tiny as still so little snow and what's there is pretty hard-packed and unforgiving so here's hoping! Jay tries to persuade me but no chance - too fat and too old.

Josh settled in pretty quickly to some tidy-ish 3's and 5's and then Ellie started on her 1's 3's; tip-top as I thought she'd bottle it. Finally Francis popped some very neat 1's and all seemed fine.

Out of nowhere appeared the legend that is Ludo and his boy Lon - they were staying somewhere lower down in Le Grand Bornard and were travelling all the resorts to try and find some snow. Ludo is an absolute legend; born before God created man and just epitomises skiing and riding and what it's all about. No airs, no graces, no waffle, no bull. Straps his skis on and gets out there and puts many a freestyler to shame.

Anyway we swan off for a coffee as Lon joins my three (on his board but that's okay cos he can actually board) and after an hour, 2nd coffee and fourth ciggie Jay bells me "where are you?". Just having a long coffee, any probs say I and Jay; "well not really, Josh taken a little tumble and doesn't want to ski anymore:". Oh ok I think and say we'll be back in 10 - which after another chat and ciggie becomes 30mins! Josh is lain prone on the floor, clutching his shoulder with tears in his eyes - he's hurt. My boy doesn't go down on snow unless there's a problem. He's done a (lovely by all accounts) 540 and as he skied out caught his skis on some rocks and earth coming through. Call a first aider in and we troop off to the medical centre in the centre of Avoriaz. I have to jump on the skidoo as Josh is in a tow-along-stretcher and apparently look like Gareth from The Office as he was taken off by the swinging couple after the staff night out. Lucky Mark, Caroline & co were skiing by so they took Ellie and Francis off for lunch - less we say about Francis then tumbling headfirst down the restaurant steps the better??

Medical centre's in ski resorts are ace. Full Stop. In you go, assessed within 10 mins and if you're proper knackered they ship you on elsewhere, if they can deal they deal. Even so it was proper packed; I guess a combination of crap snow which was, in the main, hard packed ice and too few runs so lots of collisions. What's even better about the medical centres there is they assess first and use x-rays afterwards to confirm. "He has broken his shoulder" said the Doc, 10 mins later he was x-rayed and it was confirmed. Proper body harness and no ski for 4-6 weeks so Josh's holday over elsewhere. If that had been a hospital back in the UK i bet I would have been 5-6 hours. And Thank the Good Lord I paid extra premuim on holiday insurance for no excess. Text Jay the news to rub it in; he was feeling guilty as it was!!!! Get snow sleigh cab to edge of resort, meet Mark & co to look after Josh and me, Ellie and Francis hit the trail back to the car which we will have to drive all the way up to collect Jo and his kit.
Pistes are knackered and worn out and the one official line down has a 20 metre walking mud patch to stumble over (had spotted it from the chair on the way up) so bo**ocks to that. We were off-pisting it down. I was quickly assigned to "back-marker" duties as Ellie and Francis skied, skipped and jumped beautifully down the fields with the occasional patch of snow. There is no doubt about it - they are all such smooth confident skiers and now leave me behind.
Finally made it to the car five full mins after them absolutley exhausted and covered in sweat while they nonchantly asked where I'd been? Back to pick up Josh and face the wrath of a beautiful, beautiful, sexy and wonderful wife - not a happy woman at "yet another bloody skiing injury".